How to Spot a Dallas Girl in Her Element
It's the girls' turn. For every Dallas douchbag you find, there's at least one girl parading around in a miniskirt in 50 degree weather. Thus, we present to you, our list of classic Dallas Girl characteristics.
Blonde (and not natural blonde)
Hairdressers in Dallas must be making a ton of money (and we must be in the wrong business). Bleaching brown, black and red hair into platinum blonde is probably responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars in income every year. A Dallas girl is easily recognizable, even under black lights at clubs, if only by hair alone.
Do you have the urge...to herbal?
Jaywalking
Dallas girls are directionally-challenged. Sure they can find their way around the West Village, but can they navigate a crosswalk? Survey says...no. Make sure your brakes are good before you head towards Uptown on a Saturday night, and you should make it out okay.
Giant Bags
If you can't carry enough supplies to take care of a family of four for 2 weeks, your bag isn't big enough. You should be carrying, at minimum, a handle of Jager, four red bulls, Lady Gaga's makeup collection and a full change of clothes (for a walk of shame? We're not judging.) Ideally, your bag could also double as a traffic sign in color and size. Also, it should cost more than an Audi.
Fashion Failures
Weather be damned, fashion is the most important thing to a Dallas girl. Even if they only make $30,000 a year, they're spending at least $27,000 of that on clothes. The valets at Northpark know their names, and their credit cards catch on fire almost seasonally. Plus, there's no weather too cold, no rain too hard, no day too gloomy, to put away the neon-colored minidress.
Dating Douchebags
By a vote, this was the defining characteristic of a Dallas girl. Showing up at a bar with an Ed Hardy-wearing, expensive car driving, $30,000 millionaire acting douchebag puts you, without a doubt, in the category of Dallas Girl.
Thanks to @txpch, @chubby_kid & @wkay for the Twitter help on the post!
Photo credit: SheliaKane & Valentin.Ottone
